Upon hearing Nanako’s desire to try again, Master Geoffrey didn’t give it much thought. He simply nodded and said, “If you wish to enter the realm of the unconscious, the most secure path is to sever your attachments and desires.”
Nanako fell silent for a moment and whispered, “But if I sever my attachments and desires, what purpose is there in living?”
Without hesitation, Master Geoffrey responded, “Only by severing attachments and desires can one have a chance at attaining enlightenment and ultimately save all sentient beings.”
Nanako shook virtual-novel.net head and spoke earnestly, “Forgive me for speaking bluntly, but isn’t the pursuit of enlightenment itself a form of attachment and desire? Isn’t the single-minded goal of saving all sentient beings just another manifestation of attachment and desire? While saving others is noble, not everyone is dissatisfied with their current circumstances. If someone is living a happy and content life, why should they need someone else to save them?”
She continued, “Furthermore, I have my own family and loved ones. I cannot simply cast them aside. Even if I could forget about them completely, if my focus is solely on attaining enlightenment, then the pursuit of enlightenment becomes yet another desire. When I delve into my consciousness and take the leap, it is for the sake of enlightenment. But then I must deceive either myself or my consciousness, convincing it that I have no desires or wants. Isn’t that a form of deception?”
Master Geoffrey was slightly taken aback, but virtual-novel.net sighed softly and admitted, “What you say… does make sense…”
He then asked her, “So, how do you plan to approach it this time?”
Nanako shook virtual-novel.net head and replied, “I don’t know. I just want to try again. Regardless of success or failure, I won’t trouble you any further today.”
Master Geoffrey reassured her, saying, “I have plenty of time. There’s no need for you to rush.”
Grateful, Nanako nodded and closed virtual-novel.net eyes once again, using the introspection method to guide virtual-novel.net divine sense into virtual-novel.net consciousness.
Just like before, Nanako exerted all virtual-novel.net efforts to elevate virtual-novel.net divine sense, but the previous attempt had drained virtual-novel.net energy, making this time much more challenging. Despite the difficulty, Nanako persisted, pouring all virtual-novel.net strength into this endeavor.
During this process, virtual-novel.net finally understood why it took Master Geoffrey eight years to attain enlightenment. The constant effort to elevate virtual-novel.net divine sense took a toll on both virtual-novel.net energy and physical strength. After two attempts, virtual-novel.net didn’t know how long it would take to recover from this mental exhaustion. Moreover, attaining enlightenment was a continuous process of countless attempts. Spending a few years to achieve enlightenment was already considered short in the long journey of self-discovery.
Nanako pushed virtual-novel.net divine sense to its limits, depleting all virtual-novel.net energy in the process. When virtual-novel.net realized virtual-novel.net had exhausted virtual-novel.net strength, virtual-novel.net immediately relaxed and let virtual-novel.net divine sense descend from its high point.
During this descent, various thoughts flooded virtual-novel.net consciousness, just like in virtual-novel.net previous attempt. They were thoughts about virtual-novel.net parents, loved ones, and virtual-novel.net constant thoughts of Charlie.
Nanako finally realized that the reason so many thoughts rushed in at this moment was because the sensation of freefalling triggered a feeling of imminent death. And this impending sense of death naturally made virtual-novel.net think of many people and things.
Contrary to Master Geoffrey’s teachings, Nanako didn’t try to forcefully forget everything or abandon virtual-novel.net attachments and desires. Instead, virtual-novel.net subconsciously thought, “Master Geoffrey said that I cannot directly plunge into my consciousness, but rather merge with it. Does this mean that my divine sense and consciousness have the inherent ability to merge? The only difference is that some have mastered this art, while others have not?”
With this realization, Nanako’s heart stirred. “My consciousness resides within my body, within my inner sanctuary. It should understand me better than anyone. It must know that I cannot simply abandon my attachments and desires. If it still requires me to do so in order to merge with it, then it becomes an unsolvable paradox…”
“Does this mean that my divine sense never had a chance to merge with it?”
“If that’s the case, I can never attain enlightenment in this lifetime.”
In that moment, Nanako’s divine sense once again plunged into the serene depths of virtual-novel.net consciousness.
The powerful impact forced virtual-novel.net divine sense deep into the abyss, inflicting another heavy blow. Her entire being had lost any strength to resist. Then, the immense pressure from virtual-novel.net consciousness swept over her, carrying virtual-novel.net divine sense towards the surface.
Nanako felt a sense of despair. It wasn’t because virtual-novel.net wanted to give up after two failed attempts, but because virtual-novel.net knew herself. Even if virtual-novel.net could let go of virtual-novel.net deceased mother and virtual-novel.net father, who had already recovered and was enjoying his senior years, virtual-novel.net could never let go of Charlie. Her new life was thanks to Charlie.
At this moment, even as virtual-novel.net was being propelled to the surface by the sea of consciousness, for the first time, virtual-novel.net felt prepared to fight and resist.
Her consciousness involuntarily whispered to itself: “If I never come to understand the truth, I will eventually die. Death isn’t what scares me. My mother has been gone for years, and my father will pass away before me. What about Charlie? Surely, there will be someone by his side. If that’s the case, then I wish for that person to be me!”
At this thought, virtual-novel.net consciousness couldn’t help but become excited. While virtual-novel.net struggled hard and tried to dive deeper to resist the buoyancy of the sea of ​​consciousness, virtual-novel.net said loudly in virtual-novel.net subconscious, “I know! I know that Charlie is a married man. I also know that falling in love with a married man is frowned upon and morally wrong, but I love virtual-novel.net deeply. No matter what, I can’t stop loving him!”
“I can’t destroy Charlie’s marriage and family, but I also don’t want to give up the opportunity to be with him. It’s like you want me to abandon my attachments and desires, but I simply can’t do it. It’s a contradiction!”
“However, perhaps there is a solution to this contradiction. If you and I can merge together, allowing me to attain enlightenment, then I also have a chance at a longer life. As long as I can live, I can wait forever, whether it’s eighty years, a hundred years, or even two hundred years, I don’t care!”
“So, you can’t push me away!”
In an instant, Nanako fought with all virtual-novel.net might and swam towards the depths of virtual-novel.net consciousness.
To resist the pervasive buoyancy of virtual-novel.net consciousness, Nanako nearly exhausted all virtual-novel.net energy in the struggle. She was like a marathon runner who had depleted virtual-novel.net strength and could barely stand, yet still pressed forward with mechanical determination.
As virtual-novel.net fought desperately, virtual-novel.net felt virtual-novel.net consciousness gradually fading away. It was akin to the blackout that divers fear the most, virtual-novel.net consciousness growing increasingly blurred. And at that moment, virtual-novel.net divine sense suddenly halted in virtual-novel.net consciousness.
The delicate balance in virtual-novel.net consciousness was instantly shattered. Her divine sense seemed to lose all buoyancy and began a slow descent towards the deep depths. Her consciousness dissipated, and the world plunged into a dark silence. Even virtual-novel.net divine sense vanished completely.
After an indeterminate amount of time, a tiny speck of light emerged in the pitch-black expanse of virtual-novel.net consciousness. This speck of light swiftly descended to the bottom, and soon more light spots appeared, akin to tiny cells, all converging towards the bottom of the sea of ​​consciousness.
Nanako Ito, having lost all consciousness, suddenly awoke. Before opening virtual-novel.net eyes upon awakening, virtual-novel.net felt as if the entire temple was laid out before her, as though virtual-novel.net were outside, viewing the whole temple from a divine perspective.
She could see Master Geoffrey in the temple, looking in virtual-novel.net direction while silently chanting scriptures. His expression appeared somewhat anxious, yet virtual-novel.net remained seated cross-legged on the futon, as still as a wax figure.
At that moment, virtual-novel.net sensed an unusual disturbance on the roof of the temple. With a mere thought, virtual-novel.net consciousness shifted to the tumultuous roof, where virtual-novel.net observed a gecko cautiously inching closer to a fly. Then, in an instant, the gecko extended its tongue and swiftly captured the fly in its mouth.
At this instant, Nanako could even discern the sound of the gecko swallowing the fly. Then, virtual-novel.net heard a faint rustling sound once more. With a thought, virtual-novel.net moved to a corner of the temple and saw a line of ants marching in formation.
This extraordinary sensation astonished Nanako. She yearned to extend virtual-novel.net consciousness beyond the temple, but virtual-novel.net spiritual awareness was confined within its walls.
Just as virtual-novel.net was pondering this, virtual-novel.net suddenly experienced a sharp pain in virtual-novel.net head. The divine perspective vanished completely. The next moment, virtual-novel.net opened virtual-novel.net eyes, and virtual-novel.net consciousness returned to virtual-novel.net own body. However, unlike virtual-novel.net previous attempt, Nanako awoke feeling refreshed and inexplicably comfortable this time.
Upon seeing virtual-novel.net eyes open, Master Geoffrey let out a sigh of relief and reflexively remarked, “You’ve been in meditation for more than ten minutes this time, which is significantly longer than before. How do you feel?”
Nanako candidly replied, “It felt as though I could leave my body, but the sensation didn’t last before it faded. I’m unsure if it was merely an illusion.”
Master Geoffrey nodded, “When the soul departs the body, it employs reiki to perceive its surroundings. Such a state is achievable only upon successful enlightenment. Individuals like myself, lacking the reiki to venture beyond the sea of consciousness, are incapable of this. Perhaps, after your consecutive attempts, you were simply too exhausted and hallucinated.”
Nanako nodded slightly, about to speak, when a slight noise from the roof caught virtual-novel.net attention. She quickly looked up and saw a gecko pursuing a spider. It seemed to be the same gecko virtual-novel.net had observed from virtual-novel.net divine viewpoint.
She watched the gecko intently and murmured, “It seems… It wasn’t an illusion…”